I used to believe I could actually pull this off. I mean, believing in that dream that your first will be your last, I was somewhat confident in myself. I tried. I toiled. I did everything. I dreaded the day when I'll say I failed. I failed you and myself. Part of me wants to blame you, you who was never around when I needed you. You who was always out there living your life without me and I living my life for you. It's pathetic if you look at it. Why did I even want to change for you? I was even ready to do everything just to make this work. I was blinded with my own illusion of love. The love I knew you had for me but was never expressed. Your love that I never felt. And I make myself think that you do have love for me...I had to make myself believe and be fooled. And yet I can't still look you in the eye and say its over, eventhough I feel it is. Your words sound colder everyday. We barely talk...and if we do, our words dont really say anything.
I'm afraid to lose you, but somehow, deep down in my heart I think I already have.
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