sharing the same feeling

I can't believe I actually got in. Last month, I thought I totally blew it with the interview. After all the GA was supposedly scheduled for September and I havent received an email yet. I reacted too soon, turns out the email came only now and I'm actually one of the participants! Yey me! To think, that I got all deppressed and sad when I thought I didnt get in. I would see Jaime and would wish I could ask him what happened and why wasn't I picked. Well I couldnt do that now. hehe. Even though I feel excited about it, I am quite nervous about the whole thing. I'm not really a sociable person you see. Actually I really don't get myself. I can be sooo perky one time and be sooo shy another. I share the same feeling with my buddy. I still haven't found my niche. And also my personality. Sometimes I don't know what to say when I'm with my blockmates...I feel that this isn't for me anymore. I'm not getting them. At times I would just want to retreat to my dorm and stay there. Probably to watch the tube or just hang out by myself. The same thing happens to me when there's a family reunion. I can't talk to anyone because I don't know what to talk about. Aside from the lack of people from my age-group, I really didn't grow up with much of them so I feel so alone. I hope I'll be my perky self again during the seminar...I hope I'll make some friends...

Please...just let me fit in...